Should My Wannabe Content Creator Friend Stop Using People for Content?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?